How to Win the Loser of the Year Award

10 Ways to lose before you start!by Rafael1.
Corney, dating coachSet up your laptop: As soon as you sit down, set
That's right, guys. You can do it, you really can -up your laptop, and proceed to send emails and
IF you try hard enough. I mean, won't you beinstant message people the whole time you are
proud to mount the plaque for the Dating Loserwith her.
of the Year on YOUR bathroom wall? Let's take a
look at the 10 things you need to do to win.1.
Talk about yourself - non-stop: That's right - talk,
1.talk, talk - about your job, the latest NASCAR
Use a counterfeit photo: That's right - on yourrace, drinking beer with your buddies, whatever.
profile paste a photo of your son, cousin, brother,And, make SURE you don't ask her a single thing
best friend - whoever is one handsome dude andabout herself.
when your date shows up you tell her you had
plastic surgery after a car wreck.1.
Be negative: While you are talking non-stop -
1.make sure it is about everything negative - how
Lie on your profile: An extension of number 1, lieyou hate your boss, what a loser your last
about your education, interests, height, religion,girlfriend was, and how crummy the weather
and whatever else is on there to present theALWAYS is!
perfect, and fake, persona.
1.
1.Act like a jerk: Be rude to everyone and anyone.
Be a slob: When you meet her, make sure youKick the blind man's dog, yell at a kid, argue with
haven't showered in days, and wear dirty,the server or counterperson. That's right - show
wrinkled old clothes.your true colors!
1.1.
Arrive late: Come swaggering in with attitude, findGet down and dirty: In between instant
her, and move on to # 5.messages, start talking like you were having
phone sex - only now it's Starbuck's sex!
1.So, my friend, if you want to win the Dating
Borrow money: Tell her you stopped at the ATMLoser of the Year Award, be sure to follow these
but don't have any money in your account, soguidelines and I'll be sending you that plaque
you need to borrow money for a mochapronto.
cappuccino.Go get 'em!