| 10 Ways to lose before you start!by Rafael | | | | 1. |
| Corney, dating coach | | | | Set up your laptop: As soon as you sit down, set |
| That's right, guys. You can do it, you really can - | | | | up your laptop, and proceed to send emails and |
| IF you try hard enough. I mean, won't you be | | | | instant message people the whole time you are |
| proud to mount the plaque for the Dating Loser | | | | with her. |
| of the Year on YOUR bathroom wall? Let's take a | | | | |
| look at the 10 things you need to do to win. | | | | 1. |
| | | | Talk about yourself - non-stop: That's right - talk, |
| 1. | | | | talk, talk - about your job, the latest NASCAR |
| Use a counterfeit photo: That's right - on your | | | | race, drinking beer with your buddies, whatever. |
| profile paste a photo of your son, cousin, brother, | | | | And, make SURE you don't ask her a single thing |
| best friend - whoever is one handsome dude and | | | | about herself. |
| when your date shows up you tell her you had | | | | |
| plastic surgery after a car wreck. | | | | 1. |
| | | | Be negative: While you are talking non-stop - |
| 1. | | | | make sure it is about everything negative - how |
| Lie on your profile: An extension of number 1, lie | | | | you hate your boss, what a loser your last |
| about your education, interests, height, religion, | | | | girlfriend was, and how crummy the weather |
| and whatever else is on there to present the | | | | ALWAYS is! |
| perfect, and fake, persona. | | | | |
| | | | 1. |
| 1. | | | | Act like a jerk: Be rude to everyone and anyone. |
| Be a slob: When you meet her, make sure you | | | | Kick the blind man's dog, yell at a kid, argue with |
| haven't showered in days, and wear dirty, | | | | the server or counterperson. That's right - show |
| wrinkled old clothes. | | | | your true colors! |
| | | | |
| 1. | | | | 1. |
| Arrive late: Come swaggering in with attitude, find | | | | Get down and dirty: In between instant |
| her, and move on to # 5. | | | | messages, start talking like you were having |
| | | | phone sex - only now it's Starbuck's sex! |
| 1. | | | | So, my friend, if you want to win the Dating |
| Borrow money: Tell her you stopped at the ATM | | | | Loser of the Year Award, be sure to follow these |
| but don't have any money in your account, so | | | | guidelines and I'll be sending you that plaque |
| you need to borrow money for a mocha | | | | pronto. |
| cappuccino. | | | | Go get 'em! |
| | | | |