| 10 Ways to lose before you start!by Rafael | | | | |
| Corney, dating coach | | | | |
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| That's right, guys. You can do it, you really | | | | 1. |
| can - IF you try hard enough. I mean, won't | | | | |
| you be proud to mount the plaque for the | | | | Set up your laptop: As soon as you sit down, |
| Dating Loser of the Year on YOUR bathroom | | | | set up your laptop, and proceed to send |
| wall? Let's take a look at the 10 things you | | | | emails and instant message people the whole |
| need to do to win. | | | | time you are with her. |
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| 1. | | | | 1. |
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| Use a counterfeit photo: That's right - on | | | | Talk about yourself - non-stop: That's right |
| your profile paste a photo of your son, | | | | - talk, talk, talk - about your job, the |
| cousin, brother, best friend - whoever is one | | | | latest NASCAR race, drinking beer with your |
| handsome dude and when your date shows up you | | | | buddies, whatever. And, make SURE you don't |
| tell her you had plastic surgery after a car | | | | ask her a single thing about herself. |
| wreck. | | | | |
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| | | | Be negative: While you are talking non-stop - |
| Lie on your profile: An extension of number | | | | make sure it is about everything negative - |
| 1, lie about your education, interests, | | | | how you hate your boss, what a loser your |
| height, religion, and whatever else is on | | | | last girlfriend was, and how crummy the |
| there to present the perfect, and fake, | | | | weather ALWAYS is! |
| persona. | | | | |
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| 1. | | | | |
| | | | Act like a jerk: Be rude to everyone and |
| Be a slob: When you meet her, make sure you | | | | anyone. Kick the blind man's dog, yell at a |
| haven't showered in days, and wear dirty, | | | | kid, argue with the server or counterperson. |
| wrinkled old clothes. | | | | That's right - show your true colors! |
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| Arrive late: Come swaggering in with | | | | Get down and dirty: In between instant |
| attitude, find her, and move on to # 5. | | | | messages, start talking like you were having |
| | | | phone sex - only now it's Starbuck's sex! |
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| | | | So, my friend, if you want to win the Dating |
| 1. | | | | Loser of the Year Award, be sure to follow |
| | | | these guidelines and I'll be sending you that |
| Borrow money: Tell her you stopped at the ATM | | | | plaque pronto. |
| but don't have any money in your account, so | | | | |
| you need to borrow money for a mocha | | | | Go get 'em! |
| cappuccino. | | | | |