| 10 Ways to lose before you start!by | | | | 1. |
| Rafael Corney, dating coach | | | | Set up your laptop: As soon as you sit |
| That's right, guys. You can do it, you | | | | down, set up your laptop, and proceed to |
| really can - IF you try hard enough. I | | | | send emails and instant message people |
| mean, won't you be proud to mount the | | | | the whole time you are with her. |
| plaque for the Dating Loser of the Year | | | | |
| on YOUR bathroom wall? Let's take a look | | | | 1. |
| at the 10 things you need to do to win. | | | | Talk about yourself - non-stop: That's |
| | | | right - talk, talk, talk - about your |
| 1. | | | | job, the latest NASCAR race, drinking |
| Use a counterfeit photo: That's right - | | | | beer with your buddies, whatever. And, |
| on your profile paste a photo of your | | | | make SURE you don't ask her a single |
| son, cousin, brother, best friend - | | | | thing about herself. |
| whoever is one handsome dude and when | | | | |
| your date shows up you tell her you had | | | | 1. |
| plastic surgery after a car wreck. | | | | Be negative: While you are talking |
| | | | non-stop - make sure it is about |
| 1. | | | | everything negative - how you hate your |
| Lie on your profile: An extension of | | | | boss, what a loser your last girlfriend |
| number 1, lie about your education, | | | | was, and how crummy the weather ALWAYS |
| interests, height, religion, and | | | | is! |
| whatever else is on there to present the | | | | |
| perfect, and fake, persona. | | | | 1. |
| | | | Act like a jerk: Be rude to everyone and |
| 1. | | | | anyone. Kick the blind man's dog, yell |
| Be a slob: When you meet her, make sure | | | | at a kid, argue with the server or |
| you haven't showered in days, and wear | | | | counterperson. That's right - show your |
| dirty, wrinkled old clothes. | | | | true colors! |
| | | | |
| 1. | | | | 1. |
| Arrive late: Come swaggering in with | | | | Get down and dirty: In between instant |
| attitude, find her, and move on to # 5. | | | | messages, start talking like you were |
| | | | having phone sex - only now it's |
| 1. | | | | Starbuck's sex! |
| Borrow money: Tell her you stopped at | | | | So, my friend, if you want to win the |
| the ATM but don't have any money in your | | | | Dating Loser of the Year Award, be sure |
| account, so you need to borrow money for | | | | to follow these guidelines and I'll be |
| a mocha cappuccino. | | | | sending you that plaque pronto. |
| | | | Go get 'em! |