| 10 Ways to lose before you start!by
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| Rafael Corney, dating coach
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| | Set up your laptop: As soon as you sit
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| That's right, guys. You can do it, you
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| | down, set up your laptop, and proceed to
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| really can - IF you try hard enough. I
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| | send emails and instant message people
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| mean, won't you be proud to mount the
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| | the whole time you are with her.
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| plaque for the Dating Loser of the Year
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| on YOUR bathroom wall? Let's take a look
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| | 1.
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| at the 10 things you need to do to win.
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| | Talk about yourself - non-stop: That's
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| | right - talk, talk, talk - about your
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| 1.
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| | job, the latest NASCAR race, drinking
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| Use a counterfeit photo: That's right -
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| | beer with your buddies, whatever. And,
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| on your profile paste a photo of your
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| | make SURE you don't ask her a single
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| son, cousin, brother, best friend -
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| | thing about herself.
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| whoever is one handsome dude and when
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| your date shows up you tell her you had
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| plastic surgery after a car wreck.
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| | Be negative: While you are talking
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| | non-stop - make sure it is about
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| 1.
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| | everything negative - how you hate your
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| Lie on your profile: An extension of
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| | boss, what a loser your last girlfriend
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| number 1, lie about your education,
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| | was, and how crummy the weather ALWAYS
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| interests, height, religion, and whatever
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| | is!
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| else is on there to present the perfect,
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| and fake, persona.
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| | Act like a jerk: Be rude to everyone and
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| 1.
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| | anyone. Kick the blind man's dog, yell at
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| Be a slob: When you meet her, make sure
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| | a kid, argue with the server or
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| you haven't showered in days, and wear
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| | counterperson. That's right - show your
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| dirty, wrinkled old clothes.
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| | true colors!
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| 1.
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| | 1.
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| Arrive late: Come swaggering in with
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| | Get down and dirty: In between instant
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| attitude, find her, and move on to # 5.
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| | messages, start talking like you were
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| | having phone sex - only now it's
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| 1.
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| | Starbuck's sex!
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| Borrow money: Tell her you stopped at the
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| | So, my friend, if you want to win the
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| ATM but don't have any money in your
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| | Dating Loser of the Year Award, be sure
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| account, so you need to borrow money for
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| | to follow these guidelines and I'll be
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| a mocha cappuccino.
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| | sending you that plaque pronto.
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| | Go get 'em!
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