| About a month ago, I had the amazing | | | | the person who will be introducing you. As a result |
| experience of attending the AC Delco National | | | | you get a bad or weak introduction. |
| Drag Racing Championship in Las Vegas. To my | | | | 2. You start a speech with some slightly-off-color |
| surprise, what I learned at the drag strip can be | | | | humor and lose your audience. |
| applied to giving a humorous speech. | | | | 3. You open a speech saying "I'm delighted to be |
| A drag race is where two cars race one-quarter | | | | with you in Reno this morning." And you forgot |
| mile (404m) from a standing start. And if you've | | | | that you are, in fact, speaking in Las Vegas. |
| never been there, it would be hard for you to | | | | 4. In your opening remarks, your mind goes blank |
| imagine the amazing power and the blinding speed | | | | and it's obvious to the audience that you are not |
| you would see as two top-fuel dragsters streak | | | | well prepared. |
| down the quarter-mile strip. | | | | 5. As you begin your talk, your audio-visual |
| To begin with, let me describe a race that you | | | | equipment malfunctions and it destroys the flow |
| might find believable. There is a class of cars | | | | of your talk. |
| called Pro-Stock. They look and sound something | | | | 6. You attempt a piece of observational humor to |
| like a really hot car that you could imagine as | | | | open your talk and it falls flat. Not a chuckle from |
| being legal to drive on city streets. When drag | | | | the crowd. And you try to explain the joke to the |
| racing, they can hit about 200 mph (322 kph) in | | | | audience. |
| the quarter-mile. Now if you were to race against | | | | You get the idea. A slow start. And you're behind |
| a Pro-Stock car and you were driving in MY car, a | | | | right from the beginning, trying to make up lost |
| Honda Civic, you would lose by a long shot. In | | | | ground. And if your start is slow enough, you'll |
| fact, even if you were given a running start and | | | | never pick up enough steam to win the audience |
| passed the starting line at 100 mph where your | | | | back by the end of your talk. A good speech, like |
| competitor was waiting, you would still lose the | | | | a drag race, is also often won at the starting line. |
| race as they as the Pro-Stock car would | | | | You want the audience energy and momentum |
| accelerate from a dead stop and pass you before | | | | with you right from the beginning. Otherwise you |
| you reached the quarter mile mark. | | | | may be fighting a losing battle. |
| Now let me share the amazing, pounding power | | | | Let's look at some things you can do to get off |
| of a top-fuel dragster. | | | | to a good start. |
| Imagine, instead of getting into my Honda, you | | | | 1. Be well prepared and practiced. This gives you |
| are getting into the driver's seat of a Pro-Stock | | | | confidence and the ability to relax and be in the |
| vehicle. Your challenge is to race a top-fuel | | | | present moment as you start your talk. |
| dragster. And they're going to give you a running | | | | 2. Arrive early to allow you plenty of time to set |
| start. When you pass the starting line where the | | | | up the room for your talk. This is part of your |
| top-fuel dragster is standing still, you are already | | | | being fully prepared. |
| going 200 mph. In spite of this huge head start, | | | | 3. Prepare a great, written introduction for the |
| when you reach the quarter-mile finish line you | | | | person who will introduce you to the audience. |
| would find yourself the loser as the dragster | | | | Send a copy to him/her in advance and bring two |
| would have already passed you going more than | | | | copies with you to the meeting venue. I always |
| 135 mph FASTER than you. Yes, that's going | | | | like to include a bit of humor in the introduction to |
| faster than 335 mph (540 kph). The record is a | | | | warm up the audience and make the introducer |
| quarter mile, reaching that speed from a standing | | | | look good. |
| start, in under 4.5 seconds! | | | | 4. As you begin your talk, breathe and make |
| To put that power into perspective, here are | | | | good eye contact with the audience before you |
| some facts: A top-fuel dragster burns a blend of | | | | say your first word. This relaxes you and |
| nitromethane and alcohol. A quarter-mile run | | | | psychologically connects you and your audience. |
| consumes 16 gallons and costs $4000 if nothing | | | | 5. If you can only know one part of your speech |
| blows up. The fuel consumption is not measured in | | | | really well, make sure it's your opening. Of course |
| miles-per-gallon; the consumption rate is 84 feet | | | | it's really nice to know your whole speech really |
| per gallon. According to a web site I found in my | | | | well. |
| research, the dragster burns fuel at the same | | | | 6. Keep all humor in good taste...without exception. |
| rate as a fully loaded 747 jumbo jet. Except that | | | | Off-color humor is the lazy speaker's attempt for |
| all that power is placed in a 2100 pound vehicle | | | | laughter. |
| carrying only one person. You get the picture. The | | | | 7. Observational and spontaneous humor tailored |
| power and speed is simply incredible. | | | | for the group can often hit the mark. But it can |
| An amazing thing I discovered at the drag races | | | | also be risky. Unless you're absolutely sure that an |
| was that the fastest speed doesn't always win | | | | untested humor line will work, work it into your |
| the race. A dragster reaching 325 mph could lose | | | | speech after you pick up speed rather than using |
| to one doing 310. The fact is, if the slower car | | | | it as an opener. To get off to a good start, begin |
| departed the starting line quicker, the faster car | | | | your talk with material in which you have high |
| would never have the chance to catch up. In fact, | | | | confidence. |
| most races are won at the starting line. A good | | | | 8. Develop your skills of handling the unexpected: |
| start and the reaction time of the driver and is | | | | When equipment fails, when your mind goes |
| the key. | | | | blank, when laughs fail to come. Keep your cool. |
| And so it is with a speaker giving a humorous | | | | Don't let the audience see you sweat! |
| speech. Get off to a slow start and you will have | | | | You'll find that when you get off to a great start, |
| a tough time recovering lost ground; spinning your | | | | your momentum will carry you through little |
| wheels trying to come from behind. Let me give | | | | bumps in the road. You'll have a great talk, get |
| you some examples of slow starts as a speaker: | | | | more laughs and you'll finish as a winner. |
| 1. You don't bring a well-written introduction for | | | | |